How to Indicate Interest in a Gentleman without seeming forward

Well single ladies of SPEBL, you should have by now scouted out an appropriate gentleman to marry, using the tips from the previous post. If you have still not read that post, please proceed to that one now and give yourself a week to choose a gentleman. For those of you who have chosen a suitable gentleman, we will now proceed in how to show him you are interested.

Miss Bingley: "I am afraid you do not like your pen. Let me mend it for you. I mend pens remarkably well."
Mr. Darcy: "Thank you- but I always mend my own."
-Pride and Prejudice

Communication amongst unmarried persons of the opposite sex can be difficult to decipher in most cases. Though it might seem easy to just tell a gentleman of your feelings, i.e. you think he is attractive or charming, many believe that it is the duty of the gentleman to begin the courtship. A woman may assist the gentleman in nine out of ten cases by showing more affection than she feels, because a man might not realize she is interested in him otherwise. Beware though, a woman does not want to risk her reputation by being too forward with her affections. These are some gentle ways to help the man you are pursuing realize you are interested.

1. Flatter his vanity. A rather easy task as most men will be flattered if you just feign interest in what they are saying. In some cases though you will have to hang out his every word, and express admiration for everything he does. Ladies, you might also need to agree with what he has said, though you do not agree with him. A hard feat for some women.



2. Talk about him to his relatives and friends. Women do not always have contact with a gentleman's relatives, but if you do, take advantage of the situation and praise him. They might take the hint of your adoration for him and tell him. This is also true of friends, especially if they like to tease one another.

3. Offer to perform little services for him. Loaning a book might lead to your books being settled on his bookcase.

4. Ask him if he would like to go "stargazing". Everyone knows what this means. (If he doesn't, rethink your decision to pursue him.)



5. Keep your cool. Even if he has sat by the same girl the last three weeks during church, do not let him know that you care. Tease him about her and see if you might wish him joy in the near future.



6. Mirror his actions. If he is reading a book, pick up another volume. If he is going to play a game, see if you may be on his team. If he is hanging back from the crowd, set yourself away as well.

7. Find him irresistible. You will become so yourself and once you are, he will pursue you.

Try these out and see how the chosen gentleman will rush to your side.

How to Choose a Prospective Husband!!

Since some members of The Society for the Promotion of Elegant British Literature are still single at this time (also since no one seems interested in the previous two Jane Austen Handbook posts), I decided it might be a good time to discuss this very important decision.

"Tell Mary that I make over Mr. Heartley & all of his Estate to her for her sole use and Benefit in the future, & not only him but all my other Admirers into the bargain wherever she can find them, even the kiss which C. Powlett wanted to give me, as I mean to confine myself in future to Mr. Tom Lefroy, for whom I do not care sixpence." Jane Austen

(Now we know the real reason that Jane would want to confine herself to Mr. Tom Lefroy, he has a striking resemblance to James McAvoy, and I do not know many women who would turn him down.)



Choosing a husband should be done so with the utmost consideration because once you are married you are in fact stuck with him. (This is especially true when you marry a rich man with a fancy estate, he will of course control the fortune. And let's face it, no girl sets her sights on a poor man.) The following questions should be asked honestly in an attempt to go into the match with eyes wide open.

Does he have a good income?
A little economy is good, but not at the expense of the elegant things in life.

Does he have good principles?
Bad boys are fun for little flirtations, as a lady must keep in practice, but do not marry someone whom you will need to change. This will not happen. Find a good man and treasure him.

Is he handsome?
He should be or at least close to handsome. (Remember that the large fortune and estates of these men can in fact increase their handsomeness.)



Is he a sensible man?
Do not marry a silly or stupid man. Then your neighbors will be making sport of you not the other way around. If he turns out to be silly, hopefully he is easily controlled, so you can almost always avoid his company.

Does he have a sense of humour?
Being laughed at is part of life. You will need to help him learn. A man with no sense of humour will be complemented by a woman who is lively, this will be a point of interest to him. And hopefully she will be able to make him be less boring.

Does he love you?
Reasons for not marrying a man include, he is in want of your fortune or position, he feels an obligation toward you or because of an infatuation that will pass. If you marry for these reasons the marriage will be intolerable.

Do you love him?
The most important question of all. Things will only make you happy for a little while, you will be happiest if you love him. If he is a good man, and has made you love him then your chance for a happy marriage is very good indeed.